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Yesterday, I cried a bucket or two. 

No sobs, just the bittersweet dribbles of a traveler heading towards home from a journey of a lifetime.

Case in point: My friend Alexandra Squyres, also of Manhattan, Kansas, and K-State (though a J-Hawk fan through & through) swung by the cubefarm before she wrapped up her last day of working at Adventures in Missions. We started working here on the same day and at that time she was also called "Allie." We both were a bit broken, breaking, or healing from the smashing of the lies we'd believed about ourselves and a God we could not see.

A mutual friend from a mutual church past (Wandean Rivers of Westview Church in Manhappiness), connected us as well as similar stories and a void that only Chipotle's guacamole could fill. 

Alexandra is now heading out to lead a squad of World Racers as they launch, lead, love, serve, break, heal, and press in to this often mysterious and always unmanipulated God. She will feel so much and love with great strength. Pray for her. Read her blog, here. 

I know that this God is real, because of Alexandra Squyres. Life. Joy. Color run. Peace. Hope. Family that you invite to the family table. She said good-bye. We prayed. I cried.

Last night, my friend, Betty, and I got pedicures. We sat for over an hour catching up about her trip to India to love on a small team with a big heart and the 29 kids they call their own. The ridiculously efficient massage chairs weren't the best part; it was Betty – time with Betty – giggling and grinning while a small drama played out around us and the one single male attendant… 

This morning, I awoke before 5 a.m. with the last bits of memory of a dream. In the dream, I looked at Howard, the brave fiance, he reached for my hand, and I said, "take me home." And he did. 

Today, I dodged off to yoga with Ann, my direct supervisor. Why she loves me – I don't know. I can be a real ass at times and I'm not referring to God talking to the wayward Balaam through the donkey either. I cried through yoga as I wobbled to the left (no balance whatsoever).

After texts between Madi and I and prayers for she and Kenan, I am "dropping" my apartment today – packing up. I'll toss the boxes over to Betty's basement where they'll stay until I return from nearly a month in Kansas helping the Mayeses move and seeing the very best of the Midwest. I'll stock up on my purple, too.

And now the tears begin again. 

God has been so good to me – ridiculously, undeservedly, and lavishly good to me. 

I only hope that I can start to live like his daughter instead of His snarky neighbor.

Betty just drove up with Starbucks and two hands and one heart to help.

Doggone tears.

 

5 responses to “Yo Jesus…where you at?”

  1. He loves you, dear one…. And thanks for your love and joy shared with others (even, long distance ;)). Your Abba has got you, and i look forward to hearing all about the next chapter!! 🙂
    -Diana

  2. One journey has to end for the next to start. That’s just how it works. You will always have AIM family here. A piece of you remains in us. So excited for you and Howard!