Word weary

Perhaps it is time for a confession.

I am weary of words.

• Weary of the advertising messages that I have helped push over 20+ years
• weary of the stuff I read
• weary of the word games I've played on my Kindle
• weary of what I write.

I can only imagine how you feel. 

It began a few months ago with an image and an idea that took up residence in my thoughts, "run to the battle." An idea too important to not write, "Run to the battle" remains unwritten. And it is warping my confidence.

In three months, this idea has evolved and gotten meatier. 

It chases me day and night whether following the perky voice of my GPS turn-by-turn navigator or when I launch out of bed to quiet the barking/whining Charlie dog in the slumbering hours.

"Run to the battle."

I'm afraid to screw it up.
Or to write it with bile instead of fresh water.
For it to be so important to me and no one else. 

I cannot even sit down and tap out a few words of the short piece as they – the words – hide behind my fears and won't come out to play.

And this avoiding has stalled all other words about walking with people into their God-crafted identity, words of Thanks, or encouragement.

It's akin to how I feel about having been out of commission for so long with a half-marathon on the spring calendar.  I'm not sure whether I'd have been running and preparing right now or not, but the idea of starting again at preparing for a 13.1 mile jaunt through Oklahoma City with my best friend…has me wide eyed and freaking out a bit.

All of the "what ifs" and sacrifice. 

But what are we if we only encounter the easy?

Schlubs, that's what we are.

Missing out on the adventure and exhilaration of working at something, failing a bit, and eventually finishing this race with our best friends and family.

Safety is overrated.

So this week, I'll post something that may be incidental to you, but monumental to me. 

I'll need Karis to look for typos as always and I'll need your patience and grace if what seems like something huge is in fact only a mite of an idea.

And I'll need to start running and swimming again – dry socket or not – because there is a race to be slogged. Or better yet, there is an opportunity to take a long run with my best friend and enjoy a steak at the Cattleman's Cafe afterwards.

And maybe chocolate.

Travel light, friends.