Uncomfortable quiet

I'm an introvert.

I do love people, but I feel so awkward around most folks that I have been known to run out of an excellent dinner party just to catch some "air."
 
And at the same time, I've been told I could talk the bark off of a tree…awkward.

This week, I had the privilege of opening up the "Tiny B&B" to a new friend and fellow writer Sara Choe (http://sarachoe.com/author/sarachoe/). It was so nice to have another human in the apartment who was self-directed and engaged in the Adventures community.  And now she's off on her next adventure and the "Tiny B&B" is again quiet.

My shy & introverted self appreciates this rhythm.  The rest of me wonders if I'm going to start talking to the cat. 

The quiet is uncomfortable.

I felt it when both Madi and Kenan left this new nest after a week or so of a visit and when Katie Mayes flew back to purpleville and when I pulled in New Years Eve from a quick trip to Kansas.

That was a deafening quiet.

After my friend, Jules, left – the quiet was there, too, but as in Sara's absence – I know that their adventure continues and that it has been a grace to get to know them for a bit.

This quiet feels like the moment after you offer to pray for someone or hold their hand and they look at you…awkwardly.  Ooooh, that look.

This quiet also feels like Presence and Expectation and Hope; the feeling after the prayer and the holding of hands.  The "what next" quiet.  Wondering. 

Slightly impatient.

Today, a curious, hopeful, expectant, awkward, wondering, nervous quiet has invaded my soul.  

ALMOST DONE with an intense and challenging project of finding pins in virtual haystacks.

Hoping to work from home until this thing gets done.

Pondering the upcoming weekend and week.

A little lonely, a little hopeful, a little uncomfortable in this quiet.

Presence and Expectation.

Awkward.

Giddy.

And in my soul I hear as clear as morning, "Be still & know."

Shhhh.

(a little something for your "Rainy Mood," http://www.rainymood.com/).