Trust-o-meter

Yesterday, my friend, Laura, and I were talking about what God seems to be doing in our lives, families, at work, etc.  It was sort of a recap of the "inner-mission" of our living this life of faith. 

I mentioned that I am finally learning to love (okay-like…tolerate) the idea of obedience because I'm beginning to finally trust God. 

That old song, "trust and obey, there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, 'cept to trust and obey" has always ground my burger. The "to be happy in Jesus" is sketchy theology, but the "obey" kept giving me fits. 

"Great. One more somebody demanding my fealty and consuming my effort/life for their benefit."

You get the picture.

Until recently. 

Recently, I began to trust God; that he is good, and loving, and patient, and all of those things we are asked to be in the Bible and among our neighbors.

He's not some big bully with a long list of our failures and a big stick ready to whack us when we blow it.

He bled and died – suffered "unto death" – just so we'd have the off-chance of hearing about his love, accepting it, and then receiving it as a generous transformational truth.

He obeyed ("unto death") and I'm not real convinced his obedience brought about his insta-happiness…while he hung nailed to a cross and his best buddies scattered like rabbits.

I digress.

I can obey now (a bit more), because I trust now (a bit more).

God is no tyrant.
Jesus is no schoolyard bully.
The Holy Spirit is no possessing puppet-master.

Now, I know that I have real freedom to love or reject God.

I have freedom.

Freedom with responsibility and consequence, but not a big stick waiting to "show me who's boss" or "give me something to cry about."

Obedience offered in love and in response to love is so fresh and new.

It's what makes me want to invest more time with Him; to get to know him better.

Obedience offered in love rather than guilt or shame or manipulation is freeing and hopeful.

It's exciting! and opens the way to learn something more; to test and see that the Lord is good like it says in that book of truth stories.

Obedience offered freely and hopefully is no longer an if/then transaction weighted by expectation and fear.

Even as my trust-o-meter registers somewhere between 5% and 9%, I'm learning a new joy in this journeying and an unexpected freshness to my world-weary soul. 

And it is playing out in my relationships with other people.

I trust Howard and love him. I trust that he will not manipulate me nor use my love selfishly. This sets up a new way of following his lead. I follow, because I trust him.

Or in Allie-speak, I can sleep peacefully when he drives a new route, because I trust him at the wheel.

Crazy good stuff.

Trust and obey.
There is no other way
To rest peacefully 
Where God takes us 
Than to trust and obey.

everybody sing!