I am not a chirpy woman.
A cynic, recovering sarcasmophile, fearful, fluffy, and often inappropriate -yes. When I grow up, I want to be more like the former Deputy City Manager of Manhattan – the most gracious and dynamic professional I've ever met. I think Madi is really Diane's child.
The oil and water of this life has become more apparent while painting and waking to the sounds of the Flint Hills' prairie.
This diving into old familiar spaces and friendship has been so sweet. I'm surrounded by people who speak hard truths into my life like when Dave mentioned that he kept hearing "my wedding" instead of "our wedding" or "sounds like you are trying to keep score." Ouch. Ouch. Thanks.
For someone who has prided herself (sigh) on being equanimous and authentic, having one of your best pals gently and clearly call out self-centeredness is both painful and fresh water.
So glad to have these folks in my life.
When Howard first offered up the idea that this may be a life-long love story, I tried to put him off. "I still drop the f-bomb" (a deflective measure to keep potentially close folks at bay), "I can be cranky," and "I think I'm always right" (ask my friend, Gary.)
Which is where this blog thing is headed today.
God has graciously given me so many good people to love and to learn from who put breath in and flesh on long ago written truths. He raised up Kenan and Madi who value and expect authenticity in our family, Katie who teaches me to run my race with endurance, M3 who teaches me that friends do stick closer than brothers – and so many other teachers.
They…You motivate me to lay down the selfish, cruddy, pretentious parts of my homemade personal shelter. You inspire the hard work towards emancipation…freedom.
Dave reminds me to be straightforward.
Kenan reminds me to care more about others and to lead with courage.
Madi reminds me that whatever I do, personality and flair go a long way.
Howard teaches me to be kind.
And when I look into the mirror and only see paint-splattered failure, you remind me that there is more to living then producing a body of work.
You remind me that love is the thing.
Love is the thing.
A follow-up thought (in song)
The Avett Brothers & the Ballad of Love & Hate, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Pre7bINBps
“Love is the thing.” This phrase and truth is what kept me from attending seminary after I was accepted. Although when I applied it was with the right intent, God gently led me to a place among people, new friends, where HIS aim would be met. “Learn to love. It is messy and can feel dangerous but that is where you’ll truly find Me.” It is a challenge for my natural self…and the double blessing is aproduces in me a new level of reliance on Him. Like you Allie, I am learning. And grateful. And for you.
Love your way with words. “recovering sarcasmophile” made me smile, as did your post. your journey is fun to watch.