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Declaring my Day of Dependence
(July 5)

 
July 4th, Independence Day, was a great final day in Kansas with fireworks, family, best friends who are family, sushi, and a last sleep in the little house in the 'hood.  July 5, I waved goodbye (or we waved goodbye if you count that cat) to Manhattan and Riley County. After an early morning walk to Starbucks in such good company, a gift of a Hobbit's ring, goodbyes, and picking up Kenan from his dad's 30 minutes en route, we pointed the big truck southward and started the engine. As we passed by familiar landmarks on I-70, deep within me a thought megaphoned into my brain, "Allie, today is the day you declare your dependence; your dependence upon me".

If you know me…this is a terrifying thought. To depend upon a God I cannot see. To relinquish dependence upon myself and what I bring to the table. To surrender control. Oy. Dependence Day is going to be a wonderful terrible thing to celebrate.

Amish have a word for "surrender" which is derived from the old German: "gelassenheit", translated in modern German as "the spirit of availability", "yieldedness", and "calmness." Gelassenheit is most powerful when deconstructed and its parts translated as it means "the state of no longer carrying it with you" or "leaving the response behind" (which is counter to my m.o. of depositing my behind right into the response and thus driving the love completely out of it.)

So this is where Dependence Day and gelassenheit collide…if I'm going to serve the Cambodia team as intended, work alongside Adventures in Missions development with any credibility, and push off on Kingdom Dreams as hoped, I need to no longer carry the burden of success, efficiency…work on my shoulders. I need to leave the response and the "work" to this unseen God as he works out his gig for this old world. It's not about me. It's his work among the trafficked and the orphans; the hungry and lonely; and among the fray just coming off of the World Race and Real Life adventures, http://www.adventuresinmissions.org/mission-trips/default_v2.asp.

It is not mine to carry. I'm just that crusty little Hobbit carrying a ring – a symbol of hope which is far too precious to be entrusted to my best efforts.

Dependence Day, July 5…a celebration.  Join me.

"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin." Zechariah 4:10 New Living Translation

One response to “Declaring my Day of Dependence (July 5)”

  1. Right there with you sister as a fellow Hobbit leaving the Shire. The adventure is amazing as we grow in dependence on Jesus. In our weakness He is very strong indeed.