Tiny me, 6-year old abused & terrified, pre-teen 'Runt', College me, Striving adult me
I just walked by a screen that read, "Dear College-Aged Me: all of those regrets and hurts…God can redeem those…" or something like that.
Redeem? Is that like taking a bunch of tokens you've won playing Squirrel Wars in the arcade to the "store" and getting trinkets and crap you don't need (and that will fall apart in minutes)? Or maybe "redeem" is more like a coupon with so many cents-off the asking price that you take to a big square store for a discount on more stuff you don't need.
Or maybe-just maybe- "redeem" is something else. Something complete. Something precious. Something beautiful. I sure hope so. I have so many crappy coupons that need redeeming. I need redemption. I need a God who loves me and cares for me and takes all of the broken pieces of my life and turns it into a stained-glass window where he gets to crank up the kilowatts and light up the night.
Did you ever see the movie, The Apostle? Some folks got really chapped by it; they were offended that Robert Duvall's character portrayed a committed "church-type" as a broken, rebellious, grandiose man. That's exactly why I loved the movie and bawled throughout it. I totally get the broken, rebellious, grandiose-ness. I long for the hopefulness and tenacity and his charachter's intimate ongoing conversation with the loving and very present Unseen.
One of my favorite lines from the movie occurs at an utter moment of despair when Robert Duvall's character is on his knees and cries out, "You've always called me Sonny and I've always called you Jesus." (Another favorite line is, "You want the Lord to watch me kick your ass?" because Lord knows…I've needed the laugh & the kick start.) Redeem. Redemption. Wholeness in broken places.
What would I tell those "mes" sprinkled throughout a history of falling down and getting up? Hang on. Someone does care. Someone sees you. You matter. Someone is crazy in love with you and it feels safe and does not hurt. This is twisted and it's not your fault. You will make it through. Your brokenness is your offering.
Look at this Madi & Kenan you'll love in your life…these people and these aMayesing friends-Really! God really does have a plan & you can trust him. Let go of the control panel. Live; really live. Do all you can do and watch the Lord move. Drop that donut.
What would you tell the younger you?
Join me. We have a chance to tell folks that they matter. That they are precious just where they lay-in the muck up of life or the whitewashed tombs. They matter. You matter.
With love,
Runt
"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin." Zechariah 4:10 New Living Translation
4 responses to “Dear Younger Me”
LOVE this….
Awesome!
You inspire me every time I read your words. Thank you!
Your words speak healing and truth Allie. This is, as always from you, right on time for me. Living it out…
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LOVE this….
Awesome!
You inspire me every time I read your words. Thank you!
Your words speak healing and truth Allie. This is, as always from you, right on time for me. Living it out…