After all these years of God-following – falling down and getting up – there are a few things that still make me wonder about God and his character…his sovereignty. One of those things comes from his bestseller (in Luke 9: 58-62) when a grieving son is told to let "the dead bury the dead" – to not return to his home to bury his dad.
Oy.
It goes painfully further in Luke 14:25-27 when the doctor journals about his day with Jesus, "Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple."
For a girl who always wanted a safe and loving family and finally got one (see the kids in the leaping photo above – my favorite!) and in the lives of other "family" – this is horrible news.
Was horrible news.
Until today.
And by some good grace, after 20+ years of following hard after a God I cannot see and trying to uncover what it means to be a disciple (and not a crazy/offensive zealot), I finally "get it." Or at least I finally grasp one more piece of this life of transformative faith.
Thanks to some digging about for a manuscript, I finally understand that God isn't asking us to punt or blow off our families.
He's inviting us to love him MORE than the comfort and familiarity of the family.
In ancient Hebrew life, the family made up the identity of its members. More than a name or place to share food and bathroom sink; the identity of a nation was woven into family names, locales, occupations of the father, social strata, etc.
In our own American story, having our identities as Howard's son or Allie's daughter has – until recent cultural experience – been strongly tied to our personal identity.
Now, our mobile, leaping, autonomous, and highly individualized society values the person and merits of each person more than the family name.
As Will found in A Knight's Tale, we find in America that we are not bound by our genealogy, but have opportunity to "change our stars."
What God asks – invites us to – is to find our identity in him. To risk being nobodies for the chance to change the world…one somebody at a time.
Seth Barnes and Adventures in Missions talk a lot about "activating people to their identity in Christ."
Thanks to this good day and a "perchance" landing on a random internet page, I understand a little more about Him. A little more about Him and a little more about myself.
I get to be a nobody to all that came before and to love a hell of a lot of somebodies who may or may not become family in the scope of forever.
And I get to love and invest in my family – these remarkable multi-surnamed people – with a whole and unconfused heart.
Welcome to the goofiness of my world and feeble understanding of the things of God.
Oy. What a winding journey of discovery.
(Oh, and I've figured out how to change my name, honor my kids, my new husband, our kids, and the curious way that God has crafted me. More on this later.)