1 Zillion Valentines

Today is Valentine's Day.

I'm not a big fan.

It seems that many folks reserve it as their annual "money shot" to demonstrate love and affection to family and friends.

It's also day that has a lot of unreal expectations heaped upon it.

And it unnecessarily creates drama for a day that was largely created to sell greeting cards.

This ends up with a lot of folks getting their sweet little hearts unwittingly trampled on the sidewalk. 

Ugh.

I'm not a fan of bashing the day, either. I have plenty of friends and family who enjoy the candy message hearts, chocolate, anticipation, and reminder to offer up a little extra love. As a fan of good dark chocolate, this makes some sense to me.

And Howard has been so very sweet with heart-filling words, chocolate, and sweet adventure. 

But all of this causes me to offer up a few cautionary thoughts about a day of hearts, cards, and candy:

• love the folks in your life throughout the years; one day is not enough lovin' to last a lifetime

• if you are single: rest, gather your friends, and make merry (again, don't wait on a special day)

• avoid bashing the day – there is no good reason for grousing, complaining, and acting like a victim; as a veteran of each approach, I think kindness, courage, and humor end up paying bigger life dividends.

• practice the law of sowing and reaping: sow love and reap it. even if you aren't reaping heaps of love, by living out genuine love, you are living out the most powerful force in the universe and it will not go unnoticed. (this is not an endorsement of co-dependency or enabling boorish behavior. that NEVER works.)

• be open to what you cannot predict or see. we really can't control a whole lot of what we experience so what about test-driving an open heart and the possibility that love and adventure may find you when you are living your life (for example: http://allielousch.myadventures.org/?filename=a-little-love-story)

• be honest about your feelings of joy or disappointment with the hype of the day. truth releases you into freedom and you avoid the guilt of trying to fake it. pray. live out your life with as much courage as you can find and then keep living; God is not sleeping.

• and why not Make Someone Happy, even if it is you. dress up, compliment your friends, be a secret Valentine to the folks in your office or where you live. practice lovin'.

There is so little that I know about life, love, and being open. I do know more about chocolate and am happy to help you with yours.

It is my prayer – after years of being single or dating during Valentine's Day – that you enjoy your day with full hearts. Why not? The alternative is a day wasted being cranky.

Check out One Zillion Valentines (originally a great book) by Frank Modell