Downloads
Today, a really nice
guy came to install my internet sometime between 1 and 7 pm. He talked about his family, his son who is
heading to kindergarten, his dad. He
left. I plugged in the computer and have
been on it since. Not sleeping to fight
off this earache. Not reading. Not chatting with the Big Guy. Nope.
I have been downloading clips and information from the interwebs. For geeks like me, easy access to the net is
like giving a drug addict crack. Holy
cats, I may need an intervention.
First, I downloaded a
link to a Nature video about black mambas in Swaziland that a Zoo-friend had
sent. I was mesmerized. It was like watching a train wreck…so
horrifyingly captivating that you cannot look away (Click Here for the PBS show).
Black mambas are
neither warm nor fuzzy. They are
venomous. They are sneaky little buggers;
not black so much as grey with black fang-y mouth cavities. They thrive in Swaziland…the very place I
hope to serve for a bit – doing whatever is needed to ease up the life crush of
AIDS orphans and the gogos that care for them.
Mambas. Hisssssss. Even now, my natural inclination is to run
shrieking from the room…
Next, I tinkered on
Facebook, but witty just isn’t in it today.
Finally, I moseyed over to “I Am Second” and listened to Tony Dungy talk about getting fired, Janine Turner talk about
rejection (“10,000 rejections”), and Brian Welch talk about life with Korn and
then his life as a full-time dad. And I found myself weeping and cheering as I listened to more stories of life turning a corner to hope and relevance.
And I am wondering, “What am
I most afraid of – black mambas or failure and rejection and irrelevance?” The nice and tidy answer would be that snakes
take the backseat to blowing off Jesus.
But so far, it is not true. I’m
still attempting to “manage” against the prospect of failure, rejection, and irrelevance. I need him.
I need him because despite appearances, I am afraid of too many things
and if this life he’s given me is ever going to be relevant-count for something,
getting over the snakes and myself has to come first. I am second.
He is first.
Or at least, my hope
is that He will be first in this life and I’ll find my place in the choir as He
leads. Minus the snakes.
Today’s best download: Exodus 33:14 God said, “My
presence will go with you. I’ll see the journey to the end.” The Message (MSG)
Your writing, your honesty and your heart draw me in…His presence in you is so evident. I love that and you.
The Big Guy was looking over your shoulder the whole time, laughing, crying and watching with you…and downloading to your heart!
You crack me up.
Actually, I think Seth jr. packed up his tent and found black mambas underneath it…
Oh my goodness – I just watched that snake movie. Did you know that is exactly where AIM has it’s biggest orphan work? It’s Nsoko – in fact we usually stay at the Nisela game park when we do vision trips: http://www.niselasafaris.co.za/. In fact, that’s where Seth found the Mamba under his tent!
dear seth…i was afraid that you were the guy in room six that had a close encounter with the black mamba. And seth jr. found a black mamba underneath his tent? geeeeez.
i did love thea’s compassion and how here husband stepped into a situation that was not welcome in his world so that her work could continue…and then they tag-teamed. that sort of companionship-relationship is what this girl dreams about…minus the snakes.
WHHHHHYYYYY did it have to be snakes?!
M’lady – this is just what I needed today….